Drugs, Nicotine...

To my hopeful readers,

I am sorry i didnt write for a llllllloooooonnnnggggg time because of busy schedules, treatments, and tiring works..

but i tried to write but i cant...
and guess what!
i have a cast now, on which everyoone i know can write on it about everything.
Sort of an artistic mind...haha!

today: Tuesday : 9/9/08

I was so bored during my English class because we talked about boring stuff like the stories which has no meaning or thingies or lets just say its plain boring.

WEll, jiji cam back on monday...
I asked her what happened and i was shocked.
Her brother : Solino was sent to rehab...
I never even knew her own brother took drugs, its even been RUMORED that solino got someone pregnat and jiji takes drugs, but of course it is a RUMOR.

Jiji was clean (thank god)
but she was sad she wont get to see her own bro anymor.
I guess we (kids) are wasting the future , spoiling it and destroying it..
WE are stupid but we act like know-it-alls...like we are always right

but in reality, we are much alike in opinions in the emotional stuff, its just on the capacity on how you take it...
some may slash, take drugs, smoke, drink, act like nothing's wrong, cry and have no emotions at all...it depends on you...

on how you will take that emotional stress off your back.
so now i am really writing about these abuses of children or kids like me.

If we take a step back and see how things are really going in the real world, we may see the horrible or the anxiety over the faces of the kids.
Its peer pressure, some may even think twice like saying "no, dont take it, its bad" but in the end they will take it and get addicted to it and then become one of the earth's number 1 destroyer, also to themselves.

Drugs:
makes you feel good, but is harmfull to your body, some maythink that this is the only way to get your stress of some do it for nothing.

ITS A CRAZY WORLD!!!!

im sorry, i'm very tired now and i keep mumbling about drugs becaus i cant take what jiji said to me...

WOW..

so now, i end, bye!
hope you have learned...(HOPE)
something..

BBBYYYYEEEE!!!!
XABI

numb, breathless, scared.

i'm sorry to all of you, my hand was too numb to write but now its better so i can write and i had a hard time writing this blog only using one of my hands because as what i have told you in my last post, i was paddled. and then the day after that. Where are my parents? why aren't they here? I'm scared...

Well, i had my jacket, i put it on but people noticed the way i was moving, i was moving side to side and i was avoiding crowds which i rarely do and i haven't touched anything with my left hand, its good that i am a right hand writer.

i was so confused and i felt i dont know when damien said "what happened? you look weird." and i just stared at him and at the gummy bear at my hand stared back and forth until he just left me alone, i was so embarrassed but at the same time happy, hey! he is wattching my every move...i think. but i just wanna laugh but jiji is not there because she was absent so i have to call her.

im sorry i can't write really long because my hand is broken and it hurts much when i write.. so i have to speed up with the details.. :| i hate it i want to tell you everything but i cant.

so when i got home my mom was their she was cooking my fave since i can smell it from afar until...she went in front of me and held my left arm. the one with the bruises and i screamed. and she said "Why did you scream" and then she pulled the jacket up and saw the bruise some were green, violet and blue and she was crying and saying "who did this to you" i could not speak but i cried then crying was almost over and she asked again "who did this?" and i was like sobbing and in between inserting words "Tita sarah, did it, im sorry she paddled me because i got low i the test that was over 150, im sorry mom, im sorry i failed you" She hugged me tightly i didnt want to let go i was afraid but she had to call police, tita sarah was not caught...not yet. and now as i turn off my laptop i wish that i could write my experiences but i guess i'll write tomorrow.

BYE!


yours,
Xabi

Wow...I failed...and the bruises hurts.

Hello to all my readers (if i have 1)

I found out my test results and guess what...

I FAILED!

yes the 4 or 6 letters i hate to hear.
I was there sitting in the classroom and as the teacher called my name
"Xabrina Varensky!"
I listened intently just to find out i had a failing grade!
I was almost into tears and my best friend, Jrina Daniya or just jiji for short, was really there for me and she was all like "how did this happen? you study so much. but anyway i'll just be here and don't worry i'll help you pass in the second grading."
And i replied " thanks jiji."

It was 2nd period so i have to eat my recess, i went down to buy food from the cafeteria, and then i saw him, you may ask who is HE, well his name is Damien Federico, he is a half filipino half brazilian.
The best part of coming down? he said hi! to me!

I know it's impossible, but being panicky i just gave a nod and when he was not lookin i said "What are you Xabi? stupid?" to my self w/o realizing that i was about to hit the post but without warning, i fell down to the stupid floor due to the misplacement of a long stick with a hole on both ends that has no use. I was humiliated worse that happened wa when some people looked at me with smiles, pity and confusion but i just stood up calmly and walked like nothing happened. I have to control the pain in my butt because i fell right? (why did i have to say it the second time?) I have to buy my recess, i went to the cafeteria lady stand thing, and i picked my usual tuesday recess: OREO! I went back to my classroom and saw jiji copying assignments from the assignment board. Then i heard the ring of terror. The bell, i got sick of third period and boring came during the fourth, i had my luch and then listened intently at my teachers for the 5th, 6th and 7th period and when didmissal came bruises had came...

I was home and i shouted "Mom! im home!" when suddenly my tita (the evil one) showed up, she had a paddle and i was screaming she said "Xab, the principal called and said you failed, i guess i ought to give you a little spanking" and you know what happened...

I had a sleepless night but i manage to sleep...

I'm scared my readers, maybe they will all notice it when im in school
as i finish my blog right now, im shaking and tears are falling,

What will i do?

Yours truly,
Xabi

Intro...

This is where it starts.

Hi!

and Welcome

I'm Xabrina Varensky

and you can call me Xabi for short, honestly, this is not my real name but i have to cover myself up because this is an online diary which is really happening to this certain girl who has the name _________ but not Xabrina Varensky.

Going back,

Im Xabi, 13 years old
an avid fan of

Boys like girls
Linkin Park
Simple Plan

Metallica
My chemical Romance
Motley crue

And almost any song which has screamo stuff, or just a cool band...any ideas???

I go to school but i wont tell you it, it'll crush my online security...haha

I'm not really smart and math is killing me, it tears my brain apart.

If you really want to know me, hate me, criticize me or be friends with me
contact me at: anonymous.much@ymail.com

and thank you so much for reading this post